文法上的問題，老師說我有錯，可是我不太懂想請教一下各位

In 2005

there are 3839 7-Eleven in Taiwan. The business volume was over 76 billion NT dollars. Their supervise and the way of effect sales

always make people feel good. Since 2005 May to July

their business volume increased 10 percent a month

because they had a big promotion. If you purchase over 77 NT dollars they will throw in a Hello Kitty 3D magnet. Made a Hello Kitty 3D magnet craze took Taiwan by storm people spent thousand of NT dollars at 7-Eleven in order to collect the whole series of 34 magnets. Some even bid for them on auction websites at surprisingly high prices.中文大概是2005為止台灣共有3839間7-11。

每年的營業額超過76億台幣。

他們的管理還銷售方式

時常讓人們覺得很棒。

自從2005/5月到7月

他們每個月的營業額增加了百分之10

因為他們舉辦了一個大型的促銷活動。

如果你在7-11消費滿77元就可以免費得到一個kitty3D磁鐵。

這個活動使得人們為了kitty3D磁鐵而瘋狂

人們花費數千元就是為了要收集到34種不同的磁鐵。

有些磁鐵甚至還在拍賣網站上標到很高的價錢。